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If you are an Asian American Christian man, maybe you can relate to this:You walk into church on a Sunday morning.  When you walk out an hour later you feel like you are twice the saint, but half the man you were walking in. Yes� Along with being sanctified and purified, you’ve also become sissified and prissified.  Holding hands, singing, sharing, crying, being in touch with my feelings� somehow all of this rubs me the wrong way. For a long time I felt something was spiritually wrong with me� why can’t I get more into this? until I read David Murrow’s Why Men Hate Going to Church. According to Murrow:

The local church is perfectly designed to reach women. That’s why our pews are filled with them. But this church system offers little to stir the masculine heart, so men find it dull and irrelevant. The more masculine the man, the more likely he is to dislike church . . . [For] it’s intimidating for a man to hold hands in a circle, to cry in public, or to imagine falling deeply in love with another man (even if his name is Jesus).





Now I’m about to say something that’s going to get me into trouble. If you are a sensitive Asian American male, please stop reading here, I’m going to hurt your feelings.

 

 

 

 

Although this feminized church repels most men, it does seem to attract effeminate AA men like bees to a hive. AA men who are gentle, sensitive, nurturing, teachable, meek and receptive. AA men who like to sing with their eyes closed, who like to express their feelings, who like to be in touch with themselves, who say prayers like: God, please circumcise the foreskin of my heart� (true story). AA men for whom passivity is next to godliness, for whom crying is the mark of holiness.

 

 

 

 

This bothers me because the feminized church has, unfortunately, become a place where the stereotype of the effeminate Asian male self-propagates itself, perpetuated by none other than the Asian American male himself.

 

 

 

 

It also bothers me because so many of our single women in church are (perhaps justifiably) tired of the nice and safe guys at church who do little to stir their imaginations or romantic longings. They end up either settling for the nice guy, or finding their hearts enflamed by a man outside church.

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