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The man who will next rule America . . .

It’s not Obama.

It’s not McCain.

It’s this man guy dude:

After President McCain passes away in the summer of 2009, Sarah Palin will become the next leader of the free world. Christian conservatives will rejoice, proclaiming God’s will has been done. The left-wing Democrats and liberal media will pronounce the beginning of the end of America. The name Sarah Palin will become the most divisive four syllables in the nation.

But here’s a little secret that most evangelicals in the know are staying very hush-hush about. Even after she becomes President, Sarah Palin will not rule the nation. Todd Palin will. The First Dude.

Sarah Palin, ever the Bible-believing, literalist Christian that she is, subscribes to the widely-held teaching that wives must submit to their husbands in everything. That teaching, found in Ephesians 5:22-24, is remarkably absolute and virtually unconditional. Certainly, there are no this-submission-mandate-does-not-apply-if-you-are-leader-of-the-free-world exemptions in the passage. The submission is total. It is complete. As the church submits to Christ (unconditionally, radically, sacrificially, absolutely), so wives must submit to their husband in everything (unconditionally, radically, sacrificially, absolutely). In short: Sarah Palin must submit to Todd in everything. Even in matters affecting this nation.

If, for example, Todd wants to pull troops from Iraq immediately (he’s worried about his son), then she has to submit to his wish, even if she personally believes that it’s not in America’s best interest. She must submit, totally and absolutely. When she steps behind the mike to announce her decision, it’s the dude riding his snow mobile somewhere whose hands are really running this country.

So the question is not if McCain vetted Sarah Palin sufficiently, it’s if he vetted Todd sufficiently.

Moose in America, your days are numbered.


Editor’s note: taking my tongue out of my cheek now, I’m wondering how conservatives can justify (on a biblical basis) – much less be elated by – the selection of Palin as VP. James Dobson, for example, was ecstatic. This flies in the face of Dobson-conservatives who believe the Bible teaches that women cannot lead a church or a home. In giving their endorsement to Palin, they are essentially making the illogical conclusion that while God has not permitted women to lead a home of, say, 3 people, or a church of, say, 300 people, he has permitted a woman to lead a nation of over 300 million people. I don’t get it, notwithstanding (the usually brilliant) Al Mohler’s circular argument.


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